And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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