Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need water and some morals
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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