What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
