You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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