The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
