we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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