All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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