oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Barsexuality is the new black.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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