I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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