I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do herpes really smell.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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