It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
