Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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