Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
