you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We have started to decorate penises.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
