So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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