i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
