I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
