The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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