he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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