I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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