If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
