She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
please come you make the beer taste better
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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