He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize