Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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