I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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