Will you blow on my dice?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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