Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
