My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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