That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He felt like a one man threesome
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
