I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
