wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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