remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
