is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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