Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
