do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
