so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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