So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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