He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
