Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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