this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
