I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Will exercising make me less horny?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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