the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
