ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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