i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
