True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
