my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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