So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
