Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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