You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
