In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
