I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize