Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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