This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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