I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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