What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
