I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
