it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize