I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
