Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
