Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
