What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize