Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
