I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize